Sunday, July 09, 2006
deep deep deep... tots?
i never tot of wanting to say this in a blog... i usualli kept this feelings in my trusty orange diary... it's more like my punch bag... just that it's in words form... that's where all my darkest secret is in... my deepest feeling is at... just that today... i just can't help it... i just wanna shout it out to the world.. i believe u ppl know that screamin at the open sea helps to relieve stress? haha and scare away the fishes too...
anyway... i am here.. again... *third time today* to write some stuff... before i K.O... honestly... i dunno whether should i hope that dar dar will read this or not... i mean... i realli one her to know how i realli feel... on the other hand.. i dun wan her to c how emotionalli weak i am... *ya ya... i am breaking down soon*
i called her every nite.. even though we got not much to say... but just to hear her voice... is more den enough... cos... at least i know how's she... wad's she doing... and... tonight... i daren't call her... cos... of my pathetic greediness.. her mom got angry that she came home late last nite... honestly... if i could i would have just bring her home wif mi and not return her mom... =X haha... cos.. i wanna be wif dar dar every day.. every hr... every min... every sec... sigh... greed... of all things... deprived mi from dar dar... how ironic... wanting to spend more time wif her... ending up... not being able to talk to someone whom u love...
my previous post... regret... sadded.. scared... represents my feelings... today.... sigh... i believe u guys can read y am i regreting and y i am sad... lol... scareded.. do u know y... i am scared of losing her... i dun wanna walk down the past again... i dun wanna be there again... i just wanna be realli smiling... realli happy... not some jack-ass clown.. smiling like there's no tomolo....
now i am happy being wif her... i enjoy every min... every sec wif her... that's y... i dun wish to lose her...............
posted by Aveon @ 9:38 PM
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